Uncle John's Facts to Go UJTV by Bathroom Readers' Institute

Author:Bathroom Readers' Institute
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Portable Press

Homer Simpson’s PIN is 7431.

TALK NERDY TO ME

Are TV nerds like real nerds?

Who cares? They’re funny.

The Professor: “I would say it was a geological phenomenon caused by volcanic activity beneath the earth’s surface resulting into concentration of heat at a specific location.”

Gilligan: “That makes sense to me, but there’s one thing I don’t understand.”

The Professor: “What’s that?”

Gilligan: “How come the ground got so hot underneath our feet?”

—Gilligan’s Island

“Egg whites are good for a lot of things—lemon meringue pie, angel food cake, and clogging up radiators.”

—MacGyver, MacGyver

Rose: “Doesn’t the universe implode or something if you…dance?”

The Doctor: “Well, I’ve got the moves but I wouldn’t want to boast.”

Rose: “You’ve got the moves? Show me your moves.”

The Doctor: “Rose, I’m trying to resonate concrete.”

—Doctor Who

Roy: “I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We’re all just drudgeons to them!”

Moss: “Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we’d be to them.”

—The IT Crowd

Neal: “What is wrong with them? Why do they think that hitting people with towels is so funny?”

Bill: “If it wasn’t us, it would be kind of funny.”

—Freaks and Geeks

Tim: “You’re scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.”

Daisy: “I never said that.”

Tim: “Yeah, but it’d be good though, wouldn’t it?”

Daisy: “No.”

—Spaced

Buffy: “Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?”

Willow: “Every nightmare I have that doesn’t revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.”

—Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Claudia: “It’s sealed with an Omega-level security code.”

Myka: “Can you hack it?”

Claudia: “Pope, Catholic, bear, woods. You know the drill.”

—Warehouse 13

Sheldon: “In difficult times like this, I often turn to a force stronger than myself.”

Amy: “Religion?”

Sheldon: “Star Trek.”

—The Big Bang Theory

Jenna: “So, I’m just a new variable in one of your new computational environments.”

Data: “You are much more than that, Jenna. I have written a program specifically for you—a program within a program. I have devoted a considerable share of my internal resources to its development.”

Jenna: “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

—Star Trek: The Next Generation

Lisa: “My family never talks about library standards. And every time I try to steer the conversation that way, they make me feel like a nerd.”

Comic Book Guy: “We are hardly nerds. Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt?”

Lisa (reading): “‘C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN.’ Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny.”

Professor Frink: “Yes, we call that the ‘Dennis Miller Ratio.’”

—The Simpsons

“I’m the key figure in an ongoing government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It’s a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet, so, of course, no one believes me.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.